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norris jokes,chuck norris jokes

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norris jokes,chuck norris jokes

مُساهمة من طرف Admin في الثلاثاء فبراير 08, 2011 7:48 am

norris jokes,chuck norris jokes

03
norris jokes,chuck norris jokes

Chuck Norris’s penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.

Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives

When Chuck Noris jumps in a pool he dosen’t get wet water gets Chuck Noris.

Chuck Noris round house kicked the leaning tower of piza

Chuck Noris isn’t hung like a horse a horse is hung like him..

The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground..

Wat is the quickest way to mans heart?
Chuck Noris’s fist.

Chuck Noris retards are just people that have been round house kicked in the face by Chuck Noris

Chuck Norris pees in a can and sells it as redbull.

God wanted to create the world in 10 days… Chuck Norris gave him 6.

Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, Chuck Norris does both legs at once.

It never rains when Chuck Noris is around, if it tried he would just roundhouse kick every single raindrop

a stagnant container of chuck norris’s urine turns in to diamonds after 2 days

There are actually 8 wonders of the world. Chuck Norris counts for 4 of them.

this was actually a dictionary website until it said chuck norris spelled something wrong so he round house kicked it into this.

God said let there be light, Chuck Noris said say please.


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Posted in jokes
الوسوم: chuck norris best jokes, chuck norris jokes facts, funny chuck norris jokes

dirty jokes,funny dirty jokes

03
ديسمبر
dirty jokes,funny dirty jokes

George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, “George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude.”

“Harriet, she’s a prostitute.”

“I don’t believe you. That sweet young thing?”

“Let’s go up to our room and I’ll prove it.”

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for ‘Bambi’ to come to room 1217. “Now,” he said, “you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?” Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. George asked, “How much do you charge?” “$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services.” Even George was taken aback. “$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25.” Bambi laughed derisively. “You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price.”

“Well,” said George, “I guess we can’t do business. Goodbye.” After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, “I just can’t believe it!” George said, “Let’s forget it. We’ll go have a drink, then eat
dinner.” At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, “See what you get for $25?”

A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed a “nooner.” “Don’t worry,” he purrs. “My wife is out of town on a business trip, there’s no risk.” As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, “We have to stop, I forgot to bring birth control!” “No problem,” her lover replies. “I’ll get my wife’s diaphragm.” After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury. “That witch!” he exclaims. “She took it with her! I always knew she didn’t trust me!”
Two drunks are standing at a whorehouse door. The first drunk says, “I heard half these broads have the clap and that none of them would think twice about stealing every penny we’ve got.” The second drunk says, “Not so loud, or they won’t let us in.”
The mortician calls Mrs. Banley, and says, “Excuse me Mrs. Banley, but I can’t seem to close the lid to your husband’s coffin because he has a huge erection.” To which she replies, “Why don’t you cut it off and stick it up his ass? That’s the only hole in town it hasn’t been in.”
A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, “Man, I’m dying to have sex in the worst way. So the bartender says, “Well, the worst way I know of is standing up in a hammock.”
I’ve never gone to bed with an ugly man, but I’ve woken up with a few.

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Posted in jokes
الوسوم: book of dirty jokes, dirty jokes movie, dirty jokes the movie

hilarious jokes – hilarious jokes site – hilarious jokes 2010

22
مايو
This guy goes to a super market and goes to isle 12 and asks for a box of condoms.

The lady askes “what size” and the guy says “I don’t know” so the lady askes him to pull down his pants.

The lady tugs a few times and says “you need a box of x-large condoms”.

So this guy hears behind him and he asks for a box of condom’s, and the lady says “what size” and the guy says I don’t know.

So the lady asks him to pull down his pants.

The lady tugs a few time and says “get a box of medium condoms”

So this teenager in isle 11 hears and wants some of the action.

So he goes to isle 12 and asks “can I have a box of condoms”

The lady asks “what size” and the teenage says “I don’t know”

So the lady asks him to pull down his pants .

When he does, the lady tugs a few times, stands up and announces “Clean up in isle 12″


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Posted in jokes
الوسوم: birthday jokes, great jokes, jewish jokes, jokes com, mama jokes, online jokes, practical jokes

yo mama jokes – yo mama jokes site

22
مايو
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was “illegitiment” because she couldn’t read

Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo mama so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama so stupid she asked you “What is the number for 911″

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put “O.K.”

Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo mama so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo mama so stupid that under “Education” on her job apllication, she put “Hooked on Phonics.”

Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

Yo mama so stupid she watches “The Three Stooges” and takes notes.
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